First off let me say that every month on the 17th I record what Brendan does that day. One day we went to the car wash, and another we just watched movies. I also recorded him on the fourth of July. So I decided that every year on his birthday would be a grand finale of the year. And that would have to be the best video of the year. His Birthday! Once a year the girlfriend and I take a trip to California to visit the happiest place on earth. We decided to go for Brendan’s birthday. How fun right? Well it turns out some people think its ridiculous to take a one year old….. They will never remember!!! First of all, we go once a year. Second he doesn’t have to remember, its the idea of vacation with family that important. And thirdly, I don’t remember the day I went through puberty! Heck I don’t even remember my 21st birthday……. When he’s older and watches every video I make for him he will not only know I love him, but he will also know he has a family that cares enough to have fun with him. Little or not. I had some rude comments and some people trying to tell me what to do with my kid. All I have to say is, I cant wait to sit on the beach with my son on his Birthday. That is something we will never forget…
Everyday I think of what I could be. Of what I could have been if. . . I’ve derailed and Slowly to not even started picking up the pieces. To be honest I don’t even know what happened. It seems I’ve lost control and gave up. I have been trying to start over and start fresh. But I keep letting things get in my way. Its sad to say, being a dad, that I must learn to crawl all over again. I need to chisel every aspect of myself from the inside out. Nobody is perfect but perfection is exactly what I aim for.
People mistake kindness for weakness all the time. A smile on my face doesn’t make me naive. A gesture of politeness doesn’t make me weak. And avoiding confrontation doesn’t make me a coward. There will be times in your life when you feel you have absolutely no one to turn to. When you think you’re the only one struggling in this world. Well wake up and smell the coffee…. I gave an older man a few bucks so he can buy himself some pizza. And the sad thing is, he was happier than most people I know. He had no family, was living on the streets, and wasted his life. But he still managed to say thank you and god bless. He still managed to smile. His smile, with his crooked teeth, gave me more hope than I have had in a long time. So when you feel like the world is against you and you have no one to turn to. Open your eyes and realize, we all feel like that at some point.. So don’t think for one second that excludes me. Im human just like the rest of you..
Im rockin out over here with my new guitar set up.. Its awesome!! Rock and roll people.. 
I figured out a way to make some extra cash.. It has so far been the funnest way to make money that I have ever done. Sometimes it is not definite that I will receive money for the work I put in but it is still fun. It started with an idea to make ten dollars a day. Then I thought I could make one hundred a week. This week I may make more than three hundred. Last week I made zero. Overall it is keeping me busy and making me some cheddar or bacon or whatever………
I was tired of looking at the old glass tables. I was about to toss them when I had a brilliant idea. Just paint them. They were given to us for free so tossing them wasn’t going to hurt me so much. The thing is though, to buy new ones would be more than i want to spend. So I got ten bucks worth of paint and an hour later brand ‘new’ tables. They are black with a manly satin. They look awesome!
We are also having a small BBQ tonight so they will look a whole lot better than the way they used to look..
So Brendan started crawling the other day. Some say this is not a milestone in a child’s life… “internet people”… You have to crawl before you walk. It was awesome watching him learn and then crawl across the room. The thing is, now I have to constantly keep an eye on him. They say. . . “Don’t touch that its hot!” or “Eat your vegetables their healthy!” But sometimes its just hard to listen. Someone told me nothing is as important than your child, and he will grow up fast. Don’t pay attention to whats on TV or anything else than can distract you from the little one. This is one piece of advice that will never go unheard. Just the other day I had to hold his bottle, now he’s starting to do it on his own.. I could fall asleep by his side. Now I wake up and he’s already making his way to play with the stuff under the bed. He will grow up and be his own man one day and i will be his old man!! And when that day comes I will be able to tell him stories and jokes about his life. And when that time comes I will have no regrets… Because I’m here. And when that day comes the TV shows, or parties, or thing, wont matter.. He will……
Today I realized something… My baby is getting bigger by the minute. It feels like just the other day I was in the hospital and now he’s already fitting into big boy clothes. Having a baby puts a clock up on the wall. But the thing is, it feels like its winding down. He’s going to be taught manners, then taken to school, and grow up. He’ll be in college by noon tomorrow and I only have so little time now.. Life is no longer about the little things like what am I doing this weekend.. Its now about taking care of another life and raising him the best I can. Its a numbing sensation that never leaves. And thoughts of hurting someone if they dare harm the little one. I thought life was hard before, now I wonder what the hell I was thinking.. I had dreams of being famous and rich.. Now I just want my son to have a good head on his shoulders and make something of his life. Its tiring and challenging, but the key is to keep going. Keep making those bottles and changing those diapers. Because one day he will grow up and be a man all on his own. We have to make sure to be there every step of the way. That is what’s important.. I am new to this and taking it one step at a time and learning to crawl as he does. So what can we do about the cuts and bruises.. Or the club feet.. Or the broken bones.. the answer is Love. Love your child each and every day. They will grow, and so will we. And in the end our memories will be all we have. So make them good ones..
This is the first time in twenty years my whole family has ever been together.. Look my big sister is so happy she wants to cry about it..
My cousin Michelle recently had her wedding. She trusted me, an amateur, to take her pictures for her. I did the best I can do. Most of the pictures came out looking great. I was all over the place taking snaps of her and everyone there. It was like being paparazzi. This being my first real photo shoot and wedding, I have to say, this one picture is my best. I have taken thousands of photos growing up but this one photo is my favorite.. I hope she likes it…