Ezekiel Films

This is the first time in twenty years my whole family has ever been together.. Look my big sister is so happy she wants to cry about it..

My cousin Michelle recently had her wedding. She trusted me, an amateur, to take her pictures for her. I did the best I can do. Most of the pictures came out looking great. I was all over the place taking snaps of her and everyone there. It was like being paparazzi. This being my first real photo shoot and wedding, I have to say,  this one picture is my best. I have taken thousands of photos growing up but this one photo is my favorite.. I hope she likes it…

So yesterday when a FedEx van pulls into the drive way I thought it was odd.  I went outside to see if the driver needed directions. Before I can ask him If he was lost he says.. “Are you Mr… Garcia?” I hesitated, because I haven’t purchased anything that would need FedEx to deliver, but said yes. He pulls out a big box and hits the road to his other drop offs.. I didn’t know if it was a bomb or anthrax. I opened it up and there waiting for me was a 2011 Imac that journeyed all  the way from San Francisco. The woman had purchased this bad boy a week earlier and surprised me with an early, or late, Christmas present. It took me a minute to figure out how to turn it on.. I am no longer PC. . I am MAC…

I had a dream… Not like M.L.K but I did have a dream. I’m not sure what to make of it. This is one of those dreams that I will never forget. I remember when I was younger, about eight,  I had a dream I was a King. I was on a beautiful green flying dragon. I was giving a speech to my army and we were going to battle. The sky was blue with a hint of a purplish  gray tone, and I could see every crack in the desert floor. Maybe I was once a King… This new dream I had was something a little different. There were four passengers on a white luxury yacht. Myself, my cousin Anthony, a friend from high school Mark, and a little girl. I don’t know who that little girl was. We were freeing a dolphin in this stolen yacht. The owner of the yacht was a German Nazi. There were pictures of him as well as the Swastika all over the boat. I look out behind us and no one is following us. I look forward and see an empty Pacific ocean. The moon only lights up the sky and the water is pitch black. I can see the waves dance back and forth with the yacht. There is a room with a bed and a dresser. The dresser is loaded with German pistols and bullets. So I grab one and load it. And that’s when disaster strikes the front of the yacht. We are going to sink.. The first thing that comes to mind is our safety. I get the yellow life raft and let it self inflate. It’s ruined and can only fit one person! So I put the little girl in it and have her stay in it. I run to the dolphin where Mark is setting her loose. He has it under control so I rush up to Anthony whom is steering the yacht. Just then the middle of the deck splits with haste and the nose dives under water. I can see perfectly like slow motion as my friend is thrown out of the boat and into the sea. We all go under but the little girl is safe. In my head I can see sharks or killer whales blazing straight for us. We resurface but Anthony wants to make sure the dolphin made it out so he dives back into the water. He doesn’t come up so I thrust myself with all my strength towards the yacht with my eyes closed. I reach around before I start to float back up and I feel his limp hand. So I grab him and swim as fast As I could back up. A ship comes by and rescues us. With no time wasted I get in my stance to dive back in. I’m at the edge of the ship when two massive and fierce sharks stroll past. Mark will be forever lost by the ocean…. And that was it. I woke up in the middle of the night feeling like everything was my fault and feeling like I failed.

I wonder if I left Mark to die.. What would have happened if I didn’t dive in after Anthony.. And who was that little girl?.. The two things I fear most in this world are deep dark water that I cant see the bottom of, and sharks.. What does it all mean?..

Lizeth and the little one are in Mexico with family, which means I’m home alone. I did what I said I would do, Clean, re-arrange, and clean some more. I thought since they would be gone the whole weekend that I could write some new exciting story or watch a few movies. It turns out I was wrong. When the baby is screaming and yelling, or sometimes just sitting there, I get the best ideas to write. I cant just sit down and write because he’ll never stop crying. So I comfort him with whatever he needs, then try to remember that awe inspiring idea. That no matter what I do I can not for the life in me remember. When the lady is screaming and yelling I get a brilliant idea! But I cant write it down because we are probably in the middle of something. Or sometimes I’m in the middle of a movie I’ve never seen and the little guy wakes up from his ten minute nap. Now I have to wait till he falls asleep to finish it… And not to forget the middle of the night chaos that makes you feel like your drunk because your so tired. So I thought I would be able to get past all that and do something extremely fun!! Like get a full eight hours of sleep.. Or watch Lawrence of Arabia all the way through. That fact is, I cant. I wake up at four and six in the morning checking in a crib that is empty.. I watch movies in complete silence and feel like I need to get up and do something. I miss my family… Once you begin to love something so much its hard to know what to do once its gone.. I’m sure when they get back Ill be dreaming of a small vacation like this one again but I will never be as happy as I can be without them..

Life is funny. I remember hiding from vegetables as a child. They were green, orange and some more green. I think is was the fact that we’re forced to eat them and weren’t told why. So of course , we stayed as far away from them as we could. Now, having a little one of my own, I eat them all day long. I know that eating well will keep your health running smooth and the tire around your waist flat… One day I’m going to put vegetables in front of my son and hope he eats them. I want him to be as healthy as he can be. I’m a person that likes to make my own decisions and what I eat is no different. So now, twenty years after my mom made me eat the greens and didn’t, I’m deciding to eat them.  Soon I will have to make my son eat them and I’m hoping he learns fast and just eats the damned leafs..  You should too. . .

The last time I posted anything was a few months ago. That was a week after little Brendan came home. I was a new dad and as happy as I can be. I knew exactly what I was going to do and how everything was going to be. Those days are over now and I’m just another one of those guys with a dream. Having success and everything we’ve always wanted was only a thought away. When reality hits and gravity pulls you back down you begin to wonder if its possible. Life wakes me up and makes me question am I’m wasting my time with pipe dreams that may never come? I wonder to myself, “Is it selfish to continue dreaming of a dream that I’ve had a passion for since I was a child?”..  Yes, the dark thoughts come and go. But I always remember, We’re on this life boat together and there is no reason for me to jump off. We all have goals and dreams, and want to be somewhere or doing something. I think the people whom make it there are the ones that never let life get in the way and keep their dreams alive. Of course a little Pixie dust would be nice.. Hard work is going to have to do for now but giving up on my dream never will…

The Biggest Little one..   October 17, 2010. He came out just as the sun began to rise at six a.m. on the dot.  I was awake for twenty-four hours waiting to see him. The little woman was in labor all day and finally started pushing at three a.m. Three hours later his head popped out and we heard his first cry. It is one of those things you just cant find words to describe. As soon as I saw him the world as I know it changed. This little person is a part of me that I’m going to raise to be the man I know he can be. We all see babies and kids all over the place but once you have your own its like you have never seen one in your life and this is the only one. He is the cutest and most precious thing in the world. There is no feeling in the world that comes close to being a Dad. The first night he was home I stayed up with a baseball bat pacing back and forth staring at the front door. One second I was Marry Poppins singing and dancing with my baby and the next I was the terminator just waiting to crush someones skull. This is just the beginning and I’m think I’m doing a good job so far. One thing I forgot to mention……………… Sleep, Where have you gone??

Yesterday I was eighteen and the the day before that I was fifteen. Today I am twenty one and in November I’ll be twenty two… I remember back in elementary when an hour seemed like forever and I thought I was never going to be old enough to say I’m an adult.  I’m not trying to say I’m as old as dirt but the feeling of getting older and not even realizing it is creeping along. I kept telling people I was nineteen and just graduated high school a year ago. Its almost going to be four years since that time. I never intended on going to collage but Ive some under my belt already. I feel as though I have only accomplished little things in my life. Like learning how to ride a bike, or making the sports team in Jr high school. Have you ever wanted more? Have you ever wished you did more in your life? My goal is to be a well known filmmaker. After that I want to travel and live somewhere I never thought I would. As of right now life has been something that I had to get by. I have been a person that has to make the best of what I have and not have the best of what is out there. I want to change that and have the best of what is out there. We can be happy with what we have but living paycheck to paycheck is not fun. There is more out there than making due with what you have. I don’t think the material things will make me or anyone happy. What I am looking for is the accomplishment of success and the power of being able to say I changed my stars. I am known to be a lazy drop out with no potential and the worth of a postage stamp. The good old memories of life have been flowing in my head for a while now. Life can be very hard no matter how you treat it. But what does not kill us. . . You know the rest. . . What defines you is how much fight you’re willing to give back. Are you going to sit there and take it? Or are you going to fight back. I’m going to be the heavy weight champion…  Ezekiel